So here is my first blog post of 2023, and I am really really so grateful that I can see my cursor and everything to the right of it. I am very sure this could be a lot more difficult than it is. It is a little difficult on the guitar not being able to see the neck to the left of the finger I am looking at at any moment. I can’t see if I’m on the fifth fret playing C or on the seventh fret playing D, in the funky way I retuned my guitar for Daime music.
It started last Wednesday night at about 2:15 in the morning when I woke up with a headache. I had an intense migraine. Not something that has ever woken me up before as a matter of fact. When morning came, I saw that I had a really intense visual aura going on. I could not see anything to the left of my nose. Right Eye, Left Eye, Both Eyes … does not matter. Left of the nose world did not exist. It took me a couple of scares behind the wheel to realize that I could not safely drive.
Once I was coming down the bridge on Hardee Road, at night, in Coral Gables on the way home from South Miami. At the bottom of the bridge was the intersection with Riviera Drive, which has a traffic circle. I looked at the circle and saw there were no cars coming around from the left, so I entered the circle. A giant white Cadillac Escalade with its lights on drove out of a tear in the fabric of the universe with its horn blaring. It had been approaching the traffic circle from Riviera Drive to my left, and signals from that part of my world were not being translated into the three dimensional world that my third eye creates inside my brain that I call reality.
The reality generator, or the part of my brain machine that creates my three dimensional world just does not create an upper left quadrant anymore.
But I can see the cursor here on my computer, and I can see to the right, and somehow, this is exactly what I need to be able to do to type and write on my computer.
I found out that I have a real journey ahead of me today in the MRI machine. I went it for two pictures of my brain, one with contrast, one without. Chunk chunk chunk beeep… MRI takes a long time right. But I’m chill. I believe that I had a Migraine and that there is nothing to see on the MRI. Just part of the process. Ruling things out. So after they are done, the guy pushes the contrast ink into the tube that was in my vein, and I realize that they were only half way done. Chunk chunk chunk beep… then beep beep
Can you hear me? “Earl can you hear me?” I go by my middle name Spencer, so it took me a second to catch on. Yeah I hear you. What side of your field of vision is your disturbance on? Upper left. Ok….
“Earl, have you ever had a stroke or anything like that?”
Um excuse me, why are you asking me if I have ever had a stroke? It’s so ironic, because I often receive criticism that it’s not what I said, but how I said it that hurt someone I get it now. You don’t ask someone who is in an MRI machine if they have ever had a stroke! That’s funny right?
Of course, they can’t tell me anything. But they say they are calling my Doctor right away and suggest I do the same thing. Dr. Cava. I have a good doctor. There are findings … I have an appointment tomorrow with a neurologist, he called and said to take aspirin and a blood thinner.
So this is 2023. My stroke was in 2022. January, yes it was, but I am a member of the Santo Daime Church, and our last work of the year is the Kings Day work, which for our Church was January 7th. I attended that work with my half blindness and played guitar with my eyes closed because I could not see the guitar neck and it was very disorienting.
So the disease, the illness, the thing that struck me, was 2022, and I prayed to leave it in 2022 when we surrendered our works for 2022 and received them for 2023. I definitely left the disease in 2022. 2023 is all about recovery.
I have been writing in this blog for a year now, and have wandered a little without really having much of a story to write about. But this is the blog story of my episode and about my miraculous healing.
Another funny thing is I had a pre existing appointment to get my Medical Marijuana Card today, so I bought legal weed in Miami today for the first time.
There are some very very funny things that have already happened. I was dying laughing with my son Wylie about how brain damage excuses everything! Hey mister, you can’t eat that in here! What’s wrong with that guy! Oh I’m sorry … Brain damage.
Brain damage explains SO Much. But this is only the start. I can already feel that the dead and weakened neurons are being eaten up, and new ones are being laid down right beside them, and my brain is reprogramming. This is actually going to be an upgrade. Or my mortality. Or both.
It is also an opportunity for my spiritual path to demonstrate it’s worth. Because I have been a good student of Mestre Irineu and Padrinho Sebastião. I get to pick the path that my consciousness takes through the world, and this disability is a gift. This is a gift. Everything from this moment forward counts.