Thank you so much for your loving reply to my email. I am having the most amazing experience and am seeing how this is truly an amazing gift. I did have my MRI, and it showed that there was something happening in my visual cortex that affects my left visual field. It was funny, while I was in the MRI machine the Radiologist asked me if I had ever had a stroke. Not the best question to ask someone in the middle of a brain scan right?
I know this is all western and horizontal, but they found something called a Patent Foramen Ovale in my heart, which is basically a hole between the two atriums, which are the upper chambers of the heart. Their theory is a small clot or some arterial plaque went through the hole and up into my carotid artery.
This is amazing, because when I woke up Wedesday at 2:00 in the morning, I had rolled over from my back to my side, and I had a vision of like five shooting stars going up into my brain, and each left a trail of pain that became my head ache. It seems like this was the event taking place.
But like you pointed out, this is only the horizontal explanation. The result is an amazingly powerful channel that plugs right into my visual cortex. I was imagining something yesterday, and saw it so powerfully and felt the feelings so strongly it was like my vision actually happened. I literally had to sit back on the sofa. Also, when I pray, I feel this channel activate, and it feels like there is a 20 amp circuit running right through my brain. Sometimes colors and visions intrude upon my awake consciousness. I used to have to close my eyes to see colors or visions, or to start a dream sequence, but now with this part of my optic nerve not informing this part of my visual cortex, this channel is now open for spirit.
I have had such powerful conversations with the Warrior Spirit of the Rainbow Wind. Showing me how this is the answer to my prayer. He told me that I have the opportunity to choose my response to these events and the choice is clear… FAITH or FEAR. He told me that this condition could be a progression of strokes as my arteries continue to release plaques and small clots until my eventual demise, or I could have my PFO closed by the cardiologist, and never suffer another episode with almost a full recovery. But that does not matter.
What matters is that some time in my life I will face my own mortality, and this is just a chance to practice. Then, as now, the question will be FAITH OR FEAR.
Carissa, Fear is such a scary abyss that I see down and to my right by the side of my right foot. If I go down there, it is a bottomless pit. I am being shown how the knowledge and faith that I am a spirit having a material experience, and one day I will separate from this body, and this body will return to the earth, and I will be free like the Warrior Spirit of the Rainbow Wind to dance with the wind and the sun and the mist of waterfalls. I am seeing there is nothing to fear.
What is coming instead is this powerful love. I am so so grateful that I get to remain incorporated here! And this body is still very good! Sure I can’t see a little to the left. I walked straight into a tree after crossing the street with the puppies today. I was looking down at them, and they were on my right, so that left the left side of my visual field facing the direction I was walking, and so the oak tree in front of me was not visible, and I walked right into it. It would have to be very comic for anyone looking on at me! I had to laugh at myself.
But Carissa, I am here!! My intelligence is here, my love is here, my personality is here, my memory is here, my guitar is here! I am so grateful that I had such a minor episode! Sure its a little hassle to not be able to drive the car, and I’m going to have to get some help skiing in Telluride, but I will take that deal! I can still enjoy so much of my life.
And now I am a 55 year old stroke survivor. I no longer have to worry about jealosy or unnecessary boundaries or anything. I can freely give and receive love because the over sexualization of relationships just does not apply to me anymore. I am so grateful to have Stephanie as my partner. I think it’s pretty safe to say that I’m off the market for the sweet young girls who were never actually attracted to me except in Stephanie’s imagination. But I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now I’m free to be myself and I just don’t have to worry about any of that anymore.
And Carissa, I am SO grateful for little things. Like the fact that I can see the cursor on my computer screen. I can see the cursor and to the right, and it turns out that this is all I need to be able to write. What a joy! What a miracle of the brain that the visual cortex has some sort of redundancy for the part of the vision where we focus our gaze. My visual field loss is just a little left and just a little above center. If I could not see the focal point of my gaze, it would be so much harder to write or read. But as it is, I can write just fine. Thank God!
And I am also realizing the LOVE that is so huge. The love of Yeshua, the Love of Mestre Irineu, the Love of the Virgin of Conception and Padrinho Sebastião. The LOVE you have for me, and the LOVE I have for you are so strong. And now I can feel it directly.
I don’t know if that is common in your experience, but I feel like I am talking to your higher self in the Astral exactly at this moment as I write this, and I feel like I am responding to you. I hear you saying YES THAT’s it! and Yes this is a channel, and yes I can see you there, and I hear you telling me that yes I am seeing you too. I don’t ordinarily write this much in an email, but it does not even seem like you need to read it. It seems like I need to write it to bring this communication into being, but the actual communication is happening in the psychic mediumship realm. The actual reading of the email is just horizontal confirmation.
So anyway, they did find just what you said they would find… maybe a little more. They found that there is some physical evidence on the MRI that exactly explains the symptoms I am describing. But really all they know is there is an area of lighter looking brain tissue. But I have to say, it looks too perfect and intentional to be a random thing. You could not have used a laser pointer to more perfectly describe the affected area. For this to be a random event just does not explain it at all.
I can’t really ask my neurologist if it’s possible that a divine spirit of an ancient Ute Warrior is building a structure in my brain to more directly channel divine intelligence. That’s not really in their play book.
I am so grateful that you are my friend and that I can share this experience with you. I can’t wait to see what opens up.
I love you so much.
Oh my new name is Schmarya Space Shalom. More on that later.
“the expansion of the consciousness will be able to save the earth”
–Pd. Paulo Roberto, Nova Aliança